Why do we live in shame?
Living in shame develops from our own expectations, perceptions, and living outside of societal norms.
Each and every one of us makes up society, so what are we creating for ourselves...?
For me, shame comes from feeling as though I can not openly share what I am going through, like it is a taboo subject that no one wants to talk about or hear out loud. Thankfully, I have some pretty amazing people in my life, and I consider myself to be very blessed. Yet the question begs, what is the norm and why do we feel the need to follow it?
It is easier to hide. We can hide behind food, alcohol, drugs, sex...
It is easier to live in fear. We may fear our own emotions, talking about it out loud, or asking for help when we need it.
It is easier to keep a secret. We worry about what someone may think of us, or what the repercussions may be.
It is simply easier...
It could be something from our past, it could be our mental state, or even a physical attribute or disability.
It could be a lot of things...
When we are unable to talk about these things openly, with each other, we feel shame. When we are unable to talk about these things openly, we are widening the great divide between humanity. We collectively grow further and further apart, making it harder and harder to help one another when we truly need it.
Shame and everything that comes with it is a part of our dark side, which is a necessary component of who we are. It gives us life. Without darkness there is no light. Without light there is no life. We live in the balance, constantly evaluating the grey matter and choosing which direction to walk towards. The path is long and the journey is a mixed bag. Yet each and every little part of us is unique and whole unto itself. It is in honouring each part of who we are, including the dark pieces, that we are able to overcome obstacles in life. It is through sharing these fears and secrets that we are able to create the unique and rich expression of ourselves. It is through sharing that we are able to sort through the darkness and lift each other up, walking through the light at the end of the tunnel together.
When we are able to talk about shame, we live a whole life. When we are able to talk about shame, our hearts are wide open and we have nothing to hide. Acknowledging the existence of our shame allows us to learn and make informed choices. To process the feeling of shame we need to look beneath the surface, face the cause of the shame, share it openly and support one another.