Awh, you’re cute!

I am working on removing this phrase from my language, or at least using the word cute sparingly and otherwise replacing it with more intentional wording.

A couple weeks ago I was at a coffee shop and told the barista behind the bar that she looked cute. The thing is, she didn't. She just had some animated features and a high level of contrast to make those features stand out. That and I particularly liked how well put together she was, so I wanted to give her a compliment. She had some goth and punk influences in her look for sure, with a softer west coast free spirit flair around the edges. I'm not sure how old she was, she could have been close to my age or in her early 20's. Her response was one of acknowledgement not appreciation, and lacking of words so it kept me guessing with little chance for recourse. I attempted to correct my errs by telling her I thought she was well put together, which garnered no change in her response. I then proceeded to over correct myself as I shared this happenstance with my friend at the cafe table. None of it mattered, I was just noticing my usage of the word and how I found it to be inappropriate.

Several days ago, I was refashioning a little mini hat fascinator. Although I may have my moments, I do not consider myself to be cute. I don't particularly take ill to being called such, yet it is not an accurate representation of the energy I carry. Looking at the mini hat fascinator with its dotted mesh veil and satin flower had me guessing, is this something I can pull off or does it peg me as 'cute'? In retrospect I bought it because it was cute, in good condition and affordable. Oh and it's purple, my second favourite colour after red. The things I adorn my body with are most certainly NOT allowed to wear me, since that would only create unsuspecting and unwanted labels. I must be creating a fairly accurate representation of myself, since I am not referred to as cute very often. 1 to 2 times out of 10 is acceptable and of the norm. It has the caveat of coming mostly from aunts and uncles, with the exception of my one aunt who calls me a movie star. Why, thank-you!

My hubs is actually incredibly cute, more so than me and in more ways than one. So, I use the word cute with him a fair amount. I'm fairly certain he has been told this his whole life, so perhaps his reaction is less adverse than mine. I do consider him handsome before cute and he is SO. MUCH. MORE. than his looks. Aren't we all? Digging a little deeper to really SEE and GET someone we are connecting with during our day to day can make a profound difference in their day, possibly even their life. It really does feel amazing to receive an honest compliment, at least for me it does. A compliment that is a reflection of who I am, and what I am creating with my life, THAT is a compliment worthy of my honest energy and profound gratitude.

So I watch my words, and use them with intention. Not only do I want how I look to be perceived accurately, I want the words I use everyday to have accuracy, since they indeed create my reality. Now when I see something that I think is cute, I stop and ask myself if it is my truest of thoughts or some predisposed response. Things go all slow mo inside as I honour the thought process and find an appropriate means of expressing it. Maybe there is some use for 'all right stop, collaborate and listen' after all, the (not so) broken record in my head since 1990.

What is a true definition of cute to you? How are you using it in your language and life?

Andrea Cameron