Hurt and Hiding
I saw it on the bus the other day... I see it all the time. I recognize that look and stance because that was my state of being, however mildly, in my teenage years. When one is hurt and on display, it is natural to want to hide.
So, why do we hurt, or more importantly, why do we hide?
Honestly, whenever I have lacked a sense of self concept I have hid. And, whenever that sense of self came from an external source, I wanted to hide even more. It shows up for me as judgement and comparison.
I have learned to replace the self concept with self awareness and self actualization, since these forms of self extend beyond a concept, or a label.
About the hurt and hiding that I see in others. I just want to reach out and help, yet I know my place is helping others who WANT the help. Not only do they WANT to change and transform their experience of the world, they are WILLing to put in the effort and time. They WILL transform, they WILL work through the hurt.
I have no idea how someone would respond to what I may have to offer at any given moment, especially when they are not yet WILLing. Yet, I know that when I receive an open and loving offer of help, deep down I have gratitude. Regardless of the hurt I may harbour, I appreciate the human connection. It is irreplaceable.
And when I see the hurting face trying to hide, I know that human has much to learn. Just like myself, we are all here to learn and grow. So, I sum the energy required and open up my heart. I expand my energy within the space, in hopes that some of it seeps through the cracks of their hurt. Seeps through and touches their heart, eases their mind or relaxes their body, even if just for a moment. This light is white and bright and will heal if one so chooses to let it. We all have this light within us. We all have this ability to connect.
And when I am the hurt one now, I no longer hide. I do know how to keep my personal space in order to maintain my own well being. It is a fine balance created within, sharing an open and loving energy while maintaining my own sense of self. What I do know is, love heals. Especially self love.
Most days, I am able to help. My heart expands and my light ignites. Those are the days, and the moments, I live for. Those are my red pants moments.
Try them on.